The Feedback Ripple Effect
Yesterday I received an email from my children’s school with both of their names in the subject line. “Oh boy,” I thought. “What did they get themselves into this time?” As a mother of two rambunctious daredevils whose energy feeds off one another, I’m never quite sure what to expect from direct school communications.
I was genuinely surprised, however, to discover that the message was from a staff member praising my children on their behavior and empathy during a specific situation.
I’m not sharing this story so that I can boast about my parenting skills (I’ve been a parent long enough to know that you win some, you lose some). Rather, I’m sharing because receiving this completely unsolicited feedback from a school staff member whom I’ve never met was so genuinely unexpected and kind that I just sat and stared at the computer for a few seconds in disbelief. The fact that someone took time out of their day to research my contact information and compose and send a thoughtful message about my children meant so much to me.
I started smiling and didn’t stop for the rest of the day. I was proud and happy. I thought about how grateful I am for the amazing school community that we have. During a conference call, a client commented that my cheerfulness was infectious. I started a meeting later that day by publicly praising one of the persons on the call for a job well done. That evening I signed up to bring a dish to the school’s teacher appreciation potluck next month.
In short, this genuine, kind, unexpected piece of feedback had a ripple effect. It reenergized my confidence in parenting, re-engaged me with the school community, and added value to my customers.
Positive Feedback In the Workplace
Let’s explore how this experience translates to the workplace. When we provide positive feedback to a colleague, direct report, or superior, we’re pointing out something they have done well. This reinforces and celebrates a certain positive behavior or action, which, in turn, increases the likelihood of it happening again.
Positive feedback can be spontaneous or planned, formal or informal, written or verbal, but above all else, it needs to be specific, timely, and genuine.
· Specific: In the example above, if the staff member had written “your children are great” without any supporting example, I would have appreciated the feedback, but it wouldn’t have had much impact on my subsequent behaviors. But, when she wrote “during X situation, your children did Y and Z and made their peer feel ABC” – now I can work with that. I know the circumstances (X situation) the behavior (Y and Z) and the consequence (ABC).
· Timely: The value of the feedback loses its impact the further you distance yourself from the situation. For example, if the staff member waited to share this feedback with me until the next time she saw me, or during a holiday break, two things could happen: (1.) she may forget some of the specific details of the situation, or (2.) she may get distracted with everything else going on at her job and simply never shared the feedback with me.
· Genuine: You can tell when a person truly means what they say versus when they say something out of obligation. A “good job!” said in passing with a quick smile doesn’t carry the same weight as stopping, looking a person in the eye, and delivering a message with warmth. Authenticity is more challenging to convey in written form but can still be done well with time and intentionality.
Positive Feedback Conversation Starters
At Mt. Vernon Consulting, we recommend a positive feedback ratio of 20:1. This means providing 20 pieces of specific, genuine positive feedback for every one piece of constructive feedback. Here are some positive feedback prompts to get you started:
“One of the biggest strengths you bring to the team is…”
“I noticed that you….which really helped…”
“I appreciate that you…”
“Congratulations on
“Thank you for…”
"My favorite part was...it really showed your skills in...“
“I think you did great when you… it showed that you …”
“I would love to see you do even more of this because...”
I Heart Positive Feedback
In summary, life is tough, but providing genuine, specific positive feedback doesn’t need to be. I challenge you to deliver three pieces of positive feedback today and watch the ripple effect it has on those around you.