Coming Down With a Case of “Introvert-itious”
Every single year during my childhood vacations my father would inevitably get sick on the Wednesday of our weeklong trip. It was so predictable that we dubbed it the “Family Flu”. His symptoms were vague– a headache, a stomachache, or simply “I think I’m coming down with something.”
My mother would drag us kids out of the condo or hotel room we were staying, and we would spend the day doing a fun activity while my dad remained back and rested. By the time we came back, tired from an entire day of activity, my dad’s symptoms would be gone, and he was healthy and happy for the rest of the vacation.
It wasn’t until many years later, well into adulthood, that I realized that my dad‘s “Family Flu“ wasn’t really him being sick. Instead, he suffered from a diagnosis my family has subsequently made up for him called “Introvert-itious.”
My father, you see, is an extreme introvert. He needs alone time with quiet and limited stimulation to re-energize himself. That’s a difficult thing to do when you have lots of small children, and you’re married to an extrovert. What I now realize is that what my dad needed on those vacations was just a day to completely recharge with no one else around. His fuel tank was on empty mid-way through the vacation and by having a few hours to himself, he was able to refuel and ready to go for the rest of the vacation.
Not All Introverts are Shy
At least one-third of people we know identify as introverts. Introversion is not about shyness, or how easily you can talk to people, but rather where you draw your energy from. Introverts have a preference for thinking and reflecting on the meaning they make of the events surrounding them. They expend energy in social situations and afterward feel a need to “recharge” by spending time alone or with limited stimulation.
On the opposite end of the continuum are extroverts. Extroverts, such as yours truly, thrive on the energy of being around other people. We love social outings, working at coffee shops so we can feed off the energy of others, talking with people after PTA meetings, and verbally brainstorming with colleagues. Extroverts “recharge” by surrounding themselves with people and activities.
Think about who in your workplace is an introvert and who are extroverts. It may not be easy to identify your introverts right away – they’re masterful at masking their natural tendencies to fit into extrovert-dominated Western societies. The introverts on your team are frequently the ones who will follow up with you after a meeting to share additional thoughts or make a poignant observation on the group dynamics.
Managing Extroversion and Introversion In the Workplace
Once you understand your colleagues better, you can figure out how to manage them appropriately. For example, if you are planning a staff off-site retreat, build in some time for your introverts to decompress. This could be as simple as giving a one-hour break between the end of the day’s meetings and gathering for dinner. It will make them (and you) significantly happier and more productive in the long run. The extroverts in this situation are the ones who will head directly to the bar after the meeting and spend that hour chatting, drinking, and participating in all kinds of social merriment. Task them with reserving a table for the team dinner and ordering the appetizers.
Back-to-back (to-back, to-back) meetings are exhausting for even the most extroverted person. One of my clients recently implemented a rule that all virtual meetings must have a 15-minute break between them, which means what used to be a one-hour meeting is now 45 minutes. It has worked wonderfully. A requisite 15-minute break between meetings allows staff to recharge, run to the restroom, grab a cup of coffee, take a few deep breaths, go get some fresh air, let the dog out, etc. In a surprising, though not entirely unexpected twist, the client discovered that some extroverts choose to remain in the virtual meeting room during that 15-minute break so that they can chat among themselves. Following this formula, introverts and extroverts on the team arrive at the next meeting energized and ready to go. This is a good practice to promote both mental and physical health.
For example, if your team culture is collaborative, recognize that teamwork can also happen in virtual spaces when people are not together. Tools like Mural, Miro, or Google Jamboard promote collaboration, but also allow people to do it while they are working independently.
Balancing Two Sides of the Spectrum
The most successful teams have a balance of introversion and extroversion. Think about how you can leverage the introvert superpowers of creativity, observation, good listening skills, and empathy with the sociable, charismatic, talkative extroverts in your group. The more you diversify your team with different personality preferences, the more likely you are to evoke innovation and creativity.